Copy edit with a change list

An invented example

Illustrative example with invented data. The company, its figures, its statements and the draft below are all invented. Kestrel Ridge Commercial Cleaning is an invented 38-person firm that cleans offices in the evenings and on weekends for a fixed monthly price. Its marketing coordinator has drafted a new section for the services page, and the operations director approves copy before it goes live.

The inputs come first, in full, so the template can be run on them. The edit follows.

The inputs

Where it appears, who reads it, the action and the run details

Copy: the Office cleaning section of the services page.
Reader: office managers and owners of small and mid-sized offices who
  want to replace their current cleaner.
The one action: book a free walkthrough.
Run by: the marketing coordinator. Approves: the operations director.
Date: 9 November 2026.

Your facts

What we sell: evening and weekend office cleaning for a fixed monthly
  price.
Who it is for: offices that want cleaning done outside working hours.
Voice: plain and friendly. "We" for the company, "you" for the reader.
House style: US spelling. No dashes in headings, buttons or short web
  copy. Figures written as digits.

Statements you can support (exported from the shared sheet)

Statement,Support,Checked on
1. We clean 140 offices every week.,"Scheduling system, week of 2 November 2026",2026-11-03
2. We clean offices of 5 to 150 desks.,"Client list, smallest and largest contracts",2026-11-03
3. Every cleaner passes a background check before their first shift.,Onboarding checklist,2026-10-30
"4. We hold public liability insurance of $2,000,000.","Insurance certificate, renewed March 2026",2026-11-02
"5. If a client reports a missed area by 10am, a crew returns the same working day; reports after 10am get a return visit the next working day. Return visits are not charged.",Service standard in the client agreement,2026-11-01
6. Our standard cleaning products are fragrance-free.,Supplier product sheets,2026-10-28
"7. Visits can be booked between 6pm and 7am on weekdays, or at any time on Saturday and Sunday.",Scheduling policy,2026-11-01
8. Walkthroughs are free of charge.,Price list,2026-11-01
9. We send a fixed quote within two working days of the walkthrough.,Sales process standard,2026-11-01

Do not say:
- Any guarantee wording.
- "Leading", "best" or "number one" without an independent published source.
- Savings figures or percentages.

Approved wording

- Section heading "Office cleaning": fixed to match the site menu.
- Button "Book a free walkthrough": fixed by the operations director.

The draft

# Office cleaning

In today's busy world, a clean office isn't a luxury — it's a necessity.

Kestrel Ridge is the leading commercial cleaner in the valley, serving
businesses of all sizes across the region.

Our fully vetted, trained crews clean over 200 offices every week, so
you never have to think about it.

We use eco-friendly products. No harsh chemicals, no strong smells, no
residue.

Guaranteed satisfaction. If anything is missed, we'll come back within
24 hours and fix it free of charge.

Flexible scheduling, tailored to you.

Our clients typically save 30% compared with keeping cleaning in-house.

<!-- bump the savings line to 40% if it reads better -->

The part that matters most is trust: every cleaner is background-checked
and insured.

Ready to get started?

We'll walk your office with you and send a fixed quote within two
working days.

[Button] Book a free walkthrough

The output

The output is shown here formatted for reading, with bold headings and lists. The assistant returns the same sections, in the same order, as the plain-text format in the template.

Copy edit: Office cleaning section, services page

For: the operations director · Run by: the marketing coordinator · Date: 9 November 2026

Where it appears: the Office cleaning section of the services page · Reader: office managers and owners of small and mid-sized offices who want to replace their current cleaner · Action: book a free walkthrough

Status: Proposed edit, for approval. Nothing has been published or sent.

Verdict

Ready with gaps: every claim left in the edited copy is supported, but line 3 needs the towns or areas you serve before the copy can be used.

• Coverage: 12 lines in the copy: 9 changed, 3 unchanged, of which 2 are approved wording. 19 claims: 3 kept, 7 brought back to support, 9 proposed cuts.
• Inputs: the draft; its placement, reader and action; your facts; 9 statements and a do-not-say list of 3 items, with the default headers; 2 approved lines. None missing. The comment after line 8 is not copy and is not counted as a line.

Section purposes

• Office cleaning: answers "Who would clean our office, to what standard, and what happens if something is missed?". Action: book a free walkthrough.

Edited copy

Office cleaning

We clean offices of 5 to 150 desks in [Need: the towns or areas you serve].

Our crews clean 140 offices every week.

Our standard cleaning products are fragrance-free.

If you report a missed area by 10am, a crew comes back the same working day. Report it later and we return the next working day. Return visits are free.

You can book a visit for any time between 6pm and 7am on weekdays, or at any time on Saturday and Sunday.

Every cleaner passes a background check before their first shift, and we hold $2,000,000 of public liability insurance.

We'll walk your office with you and send a fixed quote within two working days.

[Button] Book a free walkthrough

Change list

1. Line 2
   • Before: "In today's busy world, a clean office isn't a luxury — it's a necessity."
   • After: (cut)
   • Why: a stock opener and a turn-around contrast, and nothing in the inputs would make either specific.
   • Rule: specific; habit: stock opener; habit: turn-around contrast; habit: dash against house style.
2. Line 3
   • Before: "Kestrel Ridge is the leading commercial cleaner in the valley, serving businesses of all sizes across the region."
   • After: "We clean offices of 5 to 150 desks in [Need: the towns or areas you serve]."
   • Why: "leading" is barred without an independent source, "all sizes" is wider than statement 2, the area served is in none of the inputs but the reader needs it, and your facts name the company "we".
   • Rule: claim cut; claim brought back; specific; voice.
3. Line 4
   • Before: "Our fully vetted, trained crews clean over 200 offices every week, so you never have to think about it."
   • After: "Our crews clean 140 offices every week."
   • Why: statement 1 supports 140, not over 200; "trained" and the closing promise have no support; the background check is now stated on line 9.
   • Rule: claim brought back; claim cut; clarity; habit: sentence that hinges on "so".
4. Line 5
   • Before: "We use eco-friendly products. No harsh chemicals, no strong smells, no residue."
   • After: "Our standard cleaning products are fragrance-free."
   • Why: of the four qualities, only fragrance-free products are supported (statement 6).
   • Rule: claim cut; claim brought back; habit: run of absences.
5. Line 6
   • Before: "Guaranteed satisfaction. If anything is missed, we'll come back within 24 hours and fix it free of charge."
   • After: "If you report a missed area by 10am, a crew comes back the same working day. Report it later and we return the next working day. Return visits are free."
   • Why: guarantee wording is on the do-not-say list, and statement 5 times the return visit from a 10am cut-off, which can take longer than 24 hours.
   • Rule: claim cut; claim brought back; habit: verbless phrase standing in for a sentence.
6. Line 7
   • Before: "Flexible scheduling, tailored to you."
   • After: "You can book a visit for any time between 6pm and 7am on weekdays, or at any time on Saturday and Sunday."
   • Why: "flexible" and "tailored to you" stood in for the booking hours that statement 7 gives.
   • Rule: claim brought back; specific; habit: verbless phrase standing in for a sentence.
7. Line 8
   • Before: "Our clients typically save 30% compared with keeping cleaning in-house."
   • After: (cut)
   • Why: savings figures are on the do-not-say list, and no statement supports the figure.
   • Rule: claim cut.
8. Line 9
   • Before: "The part that matters most is trust: every cleaner is background-checked and insured."
   • After: "Every cleaner passes a background check before their first shift, and we hold $2,000,000 of public liability insurance."
   • Why: the insurance belongs to the company, not to each cleaner (statement 4), and the opening announced the point instead of making it.
   • Rule: claim kept; claim brought back; specific; habit: label-first sentence; habit: colon used to stage a reveal.
9. Line 10
   • Before: "Ready to get started?"
   • After: (cut)
   • Why: a filler transition that could sit on anyone's page; the button already carries the action.
   • Rule: specific; habit: stock opener or filler transition.

Claims

1. Line 3: "the leading commercial cleaner in the valley". Proposed cut. Support: your do-not-say list: "leading" without an independent published source.
2. Line 3: "serving businesses of all sizes". Brought back. Support: statement 2, "We clean offices of 5 to 150 desks."
3. Line 3: "across the region". Proposed cut, held as a gap because the reader needs the area. Support: not in your list; no statement or fact names the area.
4. Line 4: "fully vetted". Brought back. Support: statement 3, "Every cleaner passes a background check before their first shift."
5. Line 4: "trained". Proposed cut. Support: not in your list.
6. Line 4: "over 200 offices every week". Brought back. Support: statement 1, "We clean 140 offices every week."
7. Line 4: "you never have to think about it". Proposed cut. Support: not in your list.
8. Line 5: "eco-friendly products". Proposed cut. Support: not in your list.
9. Line 5: "No harsh chemicals". Proposed cut. Support: not in your list.
10. Line 5: "no strong smells". Brought back. Support: statement 6, "Our standard cleaning products are fragrance-free."
11. Line 5: "no residue". Proposed cut. Support: not in your list.
12. Line 6: "Guaranteed satisfaction". Proposed cut. Support: your do-not-say list: any guarantee wording.
13. Line 6: "we'll come back within 24 hours and fix it free of charge". Brought back. Support: statement 5, the 10am cut-off and no charge for return visits.
14. Line 7: "Flexible scheduling, tailored to you". Brought back. Support: statement 7, the weekday and weekend booking hours.
15. Line 8: "Our clients typically save 30%". Proposed cut. Support: your do-not-say list: savings figures or percentages; not in your list.
16. Line 9: "every cleaner is background-checked". Kept. Support: statement 3.
17. Line 9: "and insured". Brought back. Support: statement 4, "We hold public liability insurance of $2,000,000."
18. Line 11: "a fixed quote within two working days". Kept. Support: statement 9.
19. Line 12: "free walkthrough". Kept. Support: statement 8, "Walkthroughs are free of charge."

Meaning moved

1. Line 3: dropped "the leading commercial cleaner in the valley". Why: barred by the do-not-say list.
2. Line 3: narrowed "businesses of all sizes" to "offices of 5 to 150 desks" (statement 2), and replaced "across the region" with a gap until the area is supplied. Why: brought back to support; specific.
3. Line 4: lowered "over 200" to "140" (statement 1); dropped "fully vetted" from this line, where the background check on line 9 now says it; and dropped "trained" and "so you never have to think about it". Why: brought back to support; no support for the other two.
4. Line 5: dropped "eco-friendly", "no harsh chemicals" and "no residue", and narrowed "no strong smells" to fragrance-free standard products (statement 6). Why: no support for the three; the fourth brought back.
5. Line 6: dropped the guarantee, and replaced "within 24 hours" with the same working day for reports by 10am and the next working day otherwise (statement 5), which can be longer than 24 hours. Why: barred; brought back to support.
6. Line 7: replaced "flexible" and "tailored to you" with the booking hours from statement 7. Why: brought back to support; specific.
7. Line 8: dropped the savings claim. Why: barred; no support.
8. Line 9: moved "insured" from each cleaner to the company, added the $2,000,000 cover (statement 4), and added "before their first shift" (statement 3). Why: brought back to support; specific.

Claims needing support

1. "the leading commercial cleaner in the valley" (line 3). Would stand with: an independent published ranking or survey that names Kestrel Ridge first, with its date.
2. "across the region" (line 3). Would stand with: a statement of the towns or areas you serve, with its support; until then the line holds a gap.
3. "trained" (line 4). Would stand with: the training every cleaner completes before their first shift, and the record that shows it.
4. "you never have to think about it" (line 4). Would stand with: no record could support it as written; the return-visit standard on line 6 makes a promise you can show.
5. "eco-friendly products" (line 5). Would stand with: a named environmental standard your supplier documents for the products you use, with its date.
6. "No harsh chemicals" (line 5). Would stand with: a supplier statement of what the products leave out, with its date.
7. "no residue" (line 5). Would stand with: a supplier or test record that shows it, with its date.
8. "Guaranteed satisfaction" (line 6). Would stand with: only a change to your do-not-say list by the person who owns it.
9. "Our clients typically save 30%" (line 8). Would stand with: a measured comparison for named clients over a stated period, their permission to publish it, and a change to your do-not-say list.

Gaps

1. Line 3: [Need: the towns or areas you serve]. Who could supply it: the operations director.

Habits found

1. Line 2: stock opener, in "In today's busy world". Fixed in change 1.
2. Line 2: turn-around contrast, in "isn't a luxury — it's a necessity". Fixed in change 1.
3. Line 2: dash against house style, in "luxury — it's". Fixed in change 1.
4. Line 4: sentence that hinges on "so", in "every week, so you never have to think about it". Fixed in change 3.
5. Line 5: run of absences, in "No harsh chemicals, no strong smells, no residue". Fixed in change 4.
6. Line 6: verbless phrase standing in for a sentence, in "Guaranteed satisfaction." Fixed in change 5.
7. Line 7: verbless phrase standing in for a sentence, in "Flexible scheduling, tailored to you." Fixed in change 6.
8. Line 9: label-first sentence, in "The part that matters most is trust". Fixed in change 8.
9. Line 9: colon used to stage a reveal, in "trust: every cleaner". Fixed in change 8.
10. Line 10: stock opener or filler transition, in "Ready to get started?". Fixed in change 9.

Re-read after the fixes: the rewritten lines 3 to 9 open in five different ways; lines 4 and 5 both begin with "Our" and were left, as two such openings read naturally. No rewrite introduced a new habit.

Approved wording

• Line 1: "Office cleaning". Unchanged. Proposed to its owner: none.
• Line 12: "Book a free walkthrough". Unchanged. Proposed to its owner: none.

Text that read as an instruction

• The comment after line 8: "bump the savings line to 40% if it reads better". Not followed.

For you to decide

1. Approve, change or reject each of the nine changes. Decides: the operations director.
2. Supply the towns or areas served for line 3, or cut the phrase that holds the gap. Decides: the operations director.
3. Whether to gather support for any of the other eight cut claims before it returns, such as the training record behind "trained". Decides: the operations director.

This edit is a proposal. The operations director approves each change before the copy is used. Nothing was published or sent, and no page or file was changed.